News Flash - Sports - From tonight's telecast of the Arizona Diamondbacks vs. Atlanta Braves on Turner South Network, regarding the lackluster debut of pitcher Jung Bong:

That's seven hits off Bong tonight.

I'm not sure which announcer said it yet, but I'll try to find out.

Treasure Trove of Bullshit - Another way to get to this site is by googling "reuters terrorist" via their nifty "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.

In other dreck, I've coined the term stratoblogosphere, in reference to sites such as the venerable InstaPundit.Com. It's not googleable, so if you think you or someone else used it first, e-mail me. (Note: this is just a feeble attempt to see if you are reading, I don't really care who coined it, but it's now claimed here by me for eternity, as defined by the lifespan of the blogspot.com server, muahahahah!) However, I'll be checking Google periodically to see if anyone uses it next (anyone important enough to get their website indexed by Google, at least).

Type until your fingers bleed - Then, turn in what you have done, and type some more.

I have 20-20 vision.

Good for you, asshole, wanna cookie?

Sure, but I was just about to point out that I have never, ever required the use of any vision-correcting device, which leads me to tonight's incident.

The Pre-pre-conjugal Unit decided that her glasses were dirty, as she does from time to time, being of the vision-impaired persuasion and all. So, she applied her lens-cleaning device (read: shirt bottom) to the problem, and subsequently popped the left lens out of the frame. This new problem, she informed me, had never happened before, and neither of us knew exactly what the correct solution was. I, being the All Knowing (read: stubborn) Man of the House, decided to examine the lens closely for a better understanding of the problem. I learned that there was a channel on the inside of the frame that wrapped snug around a ridge located on the lens. Ergo, I started looking for the correct angle to squeeze the lens back into place, presumably the angle with which the lens made its escape. This led me to various methods of squeezing the frame around the lens, none of which impressed the Significant Other, who decided to try using her teeth. I meanwhile, pondered the nature of the magic device that would be employed by the Eyeglasses Shop clerk to make the lens go into the frame, without bending the frame. I thought, gee, it must be some Potteresque contraption that can stretch the frame around the lens and also get the lens past that screw grommet.

Screw grommet. Damnit to hell!

Upon the conception of my new theory, I started nagging the Better Half to let me see the frames again. My efforts were met, of course, by more frame-gnawing. When I finally got the frames back, I looked in the area of the screw grommet, and discovered that it was, in fact, the frame loosening method I had hypothesized. I can imagine that clerk now, sure, we have a tool in the back (wide grin) we can use to fix these right up, give us about 30 minutes, and they'll be ready. So, with the glasses restored to their full diffractive glory, I set upon the sisyphean task of washing and putting away laundry.

I really enjoy putting my clothes away. Except for the standing-up part, it's a most pleasant chore. I beam with pride when I look at all my crisp, creased pants and my sharp polos and dress shirts, all eagerly waiting for a quick pressing and the honor of being worn by me. I have only recently acquired a decent business/formal suit, a nice one by Ralph Lauren, reasonably priced but not cheap. This, of course, required the further purchases of dress shirts, ties, shoes, a belt, black socks, etc. All because I wanted to look sharp for an interview that I knew I only had a snowball's chance in hell of getting a job out of. But, just having that one suit, knowing that when I get another big interview I'll be able to dress professionally, makes shooting for the big jobs a lot easier, and a lot more fun.