I grew up in a two-ply family. The constant bombardment of advertisements extolling the virtues of "quilted" tissue that were thrust upon my father and grandparents during their daily TV game shows paid off in extraordinary fashion. Charmin was the brand of choice, as far as I remember, but any brand that was on sale was usually purchased. I remember watching those ads as a child (similar ads run to this day) and thinking to myself, "Gee, if two-ply tissue cannot keep my hand clean, who in hell would want to try one-ply?" And that was with the obligatory bunching-up of the tissue into a seemingly sanitary barrier betwixt my hand and the target. Of course, no one ever saw an ad for one-ply tissue, or if they did, there most certainly was no mention of the missing ply. My only encounters with the single ply variety were in commercial restrooms, on those rare occasions when I actually decided that I could not wait until I got home. My most memorable one-ply experience was in the American Legion in Gainesville. Being only nine years old at the time, I thought that the reason I could only get three sheets out at once was due to the inferiority of the ply-less product. It did not occur to me that the tissue there was more expensive than the good-ol' wipe back home, and that the dispenser was designed to keep the tube from spinning freely in order to encourage conservative use. I finally got about 30 sheets out, just in case. They were extremely thin, you see. A remarkable thing happened then. I did my business once, obtained more paper, and the second time it came back clean. Absolutely white. Of course, the insides of my cheeks were sore from the abrasion of the paper (you cannot quilt one-ply), and it felt clean, but it was impossible to think that I got everything in one shot. I left the restroom, still unimpressed with the unquilted wipe.

Have you ever noticed that two-ply leaves little paper twisties hanging between your cheeks? The upper ply tears back and twists up, sticking to whatever started the tearing. Most two-ply also relies on the target to stick to it, rather than scraping it off. The scraping part is contrary to soft tissue, I suppose. When the target sticks but does not lift up, which is most of the time, the available surface area of the tissue is minimized, or you get your hands dirty, or both, and thus must wipe again. But, damn if your butt cheeks don't feel baby soft after all that wiping.

I was first introduced to good consumer-packaged one-ply at a local Sam's Club store. In their restrooms they used an off-brand tissue that was sold in the store. It was not very thin like most one-ply you would find in a commercial restroom, and it worked just as well as the first one-ply wipe I used back in the day. I bought the 50-roll pack for $14 and never looked back. It occured to me that day that if you're going to bunch up a wad of tissue to wipe anyway (seriously, who wipes with just a few squares? I personally will not attempt it without 10-15 squares, if not more) then do you really need two-ply tissue? With the one-ply, you get twice as many squares which, when bunched-up, are more absorbent and effective than two-ply, albeit not as soft. And no more paper dingleberries. Also, once you've been using it for a few weeks, the abrasiveness is not as bad. Scott makes a softer version for a little more money, but still much cheaper than any decent two-ply.

So, save a tree, save money, stay clean, and develop tough ass-cheeks. Use one-ply.

As a kid, I loved playing with Legos. I fondly recall being firmly entrenched in the anti-Tyco-building-block camp (Tyco building blocks were less dense, and thus deformed quicker, making them fall apart, or become permanently stuck together, especially when used with Legos). Tycos were handy in some cases, but they were generally undesirable. I remember building massive spaceships out of Legos, developing construction techniques to keep Lego-men dry when the crafts were underwater (or in space, as the fantasy specified) in large swimming pools. I have always been facinated with roads, and would use Legos to build complex intersections for Hot Wheel cars (how many of you know that a standard Hot Wheel car is 4-studs wide?). I would even 'pave' the roads using smooth, flat Legos, and eventually started integrating old Hot Wheels ramp components into the designs, fusing 2x2's and such to the ramps using super glue and a lighter, to get very intricate intersections. When I retire, I want to spend my days playing with Legos.

I've already linked to this site, and will link to other Lego-movie sites in the near future. For now, though, HokiePundit brings us today's...

LEGO Link - The Abston Church of Christ.

I haven't posted in just over two weeks. Life changes so much in so little time, so many things happen, and you say to yourself, 'gee, when can I find time to do anything?' Since my last post, I landed a good temp-to-perm job that almost pays the bills, I moved my grandfather to his new apartment, and I have become perpetually tired.

Sunday marks the official Grand Opening of KoalaBear blog. I was going to start last Sunday or Monday, but instead I had to double-up my efforts to move COM after getting royally screwed by the most horrible rental truck company in the world. You see, a respectable rental truck company will tell you they have a 15 ft. truck, referring to the nominal bed length of the truck to be rented. For $10 less per diem, these sorry losers will tell you they have a 14 ft. truck, but will fail to disclose that they count the little section that swings over the cab as part of the bed length, which in reality is just over 11 ft. So there I was, standing helpless as I was told that there were no 17 ft. trucks to be had, that no, there was no inspection of the truck needed before I left (very comforting, of course) and that there was only 1/2 tank of gas in the truck. I went to Ryder instead, who handled my rental truck needs to perfection in this case and in the past. Unfortunately, I couldn't begin the move until the next day, at which point it promptly began to rain for 48 hours straight.

To top all of this, I started my new temp-to-perm job the Wednesday before, and had absolutely no time to finish packing COM's crap before the move, so I had to do it during the move. My girlfriend, her brother, his roommate and I all busted chunk to get the move done between 10AM on Saturday and 4AM Sunday morning. I spent the last week recovering and going to work.

I was going to do feature posts on certain days, but I've decided to be more spontaneous and do them whenever. Across the Hall and Treasure Trove of Bullshit have already been introduced, and will become random posts. LEGO Links brings you cool links about the greatest toy in the world, if you can qualify such a profound product as a toy. Connect the Dots features links to random sites of interest to me (and maybe to you, too). Any posts I make that have a soild theme or topic will get a catchy header line. All the other posts are just meta-ranting, like what this one is becoming, or other random thoughts.

Well, it's midnight, time to cut the ribbon, set the clocks forward, and hit the hay. Welcome to KoalaBear blog!